WWE Summerslam 2017 Crash Course

The marathon 5K known as Summerslam weekend has come and gone, the dust has settled, and new champions have been crowned. If you watched all the programming this week, congratulations you are ready to upgrade to Wrestlemania weekend and if you didn’t that’s what I’m here for. Without further a due, let’s get into all the matches and happenings from this past weekend.

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Pre-Show Happenings

Quite honestly, I usually skip over pre-show coverage because it is more for the live crowd as they find their seats and those who have not purchased the WWE Network yet. However this pre-show had some notable aspect to it. Neville and Akira Tozawa (c) had a rematch for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship which many believed was a way for WWE to burn the rematch clause for Neville. To the shock of many, Neville won his championship back. Can’t say I agree with decision, but I will give it a chance and see where it goes next.

The New Day defended their Smackdown Tag Team Championships against The Usos in a very high quality match. This was a great way to energize the crowd right before the big show, as in Summerslam not the wrestler. In another shocking result, The New Day lost their championships to The Usos. Another decision I scratched my head at, but we will wait and see.

Oh also Shawn Micheals came out dressed as The Cornell from the KFC commercial’s. I honestly have no idea how to report on it because I still don’t know what the hell happened so let’s just pretend none of us saw it. Oh and just to make sure you know I’m not lying:

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John Cena def. Baron Corbin

Less than a week after Baron Corbin lost his Money in the Bank briefcase, Corbin opened the show with his match against John Cena. This was your standard John Cena match where he was beaten down, came back, hit the Attitude Adjustment, and got the pinfall victory. Baron Corbin, welcome to the proverbial dog house, woof woof.

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Natalya def. Naomi for the Smackdown Women’s Championship (New Champion Crowned)

This match killed the crowd early in the show, as they couldn’t care less about these two women and it is tough to blame them with their lackluster build. The exciting question in this match was whether or not Carmella was going to cash in on the winner. The camera’s went as far as to cut to the back where Carmella was watching with her briefcase. Unfortunately, this did not happen as Natalya locked in the Sharpshooter on Naomi for the submission victory and to become the new Smackdown Women’s Champion for the first time in her career. That was that, no cash in here.

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Big Cass def. Big Show (with Enzo Amore in a Shark Cage)

If you are going to watch the whole show, please do yourself a favor and skip this match. The crowd began the “boring” chant early on and man were they right. The match was slow paced and consisted of Big Cass working over Big Show’s injured hand. There was a ray of light in the match when Enzo put baby oil on himself and slipped through the shark cage bars. However, this light was quickly put out when he ate a Big Boot from Cass. Shortly after, Big Show ate one too allowing Big Cass to pick up the pinfall victory.

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Randy Orton def. Rusev

Why tell you about this match when I can just show you?

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“The Demon” Finn Balor def. Bray Wyatt

This match marked the first time we have seen The Demon in one full year. The last time being at Summerslam 2016 when he was injured in his Universal Championship match with Seth Rollins. If you have seen The Demon before this match may not have excited you too much. That being said, it is always a spectacle to see The Demon entrance and watch Finn do what he does best. The match itself was passable with Finn Balor hitting The Coupe De Gras for the pinfall victory.

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Sasha Banks def. Alexa Bliss for the Raw Women’s Championship (New Champion Crowned)

Maybe I live in a fantasy booking world, but I thought for sure Bayley was turning on Sasha Banks tonight either during or after the match. They even cut to the back and showed Bayley hugging Sasha as the announcers stressed what good friends they were. Poor Bayley received audible boos from the Brooklyn crowd. Stepping out of fantasy land, these two put on a pretty good match. Sasha Banks made Bliss tap after locking her in The Banks Statement. My hope is that this leads to a triple threat between Bayley, Alexa Bliss, and Sasha Banks somewhere down the line.

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Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose def. Cesaro & Sheamus for the Raw Tag Team Championships (New Champions Crowned)

Let me start by saying this match was fantastic. Even the video package hyping the match was fantastic. Ambrose and Rollins came out sporting new red gear, keep that in mind as it’s a bit of a swerve for later. These two teams really pulled out all the stops with some spectacular tag team wrestling. This is one of the must see matches from Summerslam this year. Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins secure the pinfall victory after a double team move into the Dirty Deeds for the 1, 2, 3. Two-thirds of The Shield are your new Raw Tag Team Champions, let that one sink in.

Oh also, Cesaro destroyed a beach ball that the crowd was tossing around. This got a huge pop and focused the crowd’s attention back on the match. A very ballsy (pun somewhat intended) move by Cesaro as that could have not worked out as well if someone had picked the beach ball up before he gotten there.

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AJ Styles def. Kevin Owens for the United States Championship with Shane McMahon as Special Guest Referee (Championship Retained)

This match was the must-see match of this year’s Summerslam from the blue brand. There was a lot of good story telling in this match from both guys. Kevin Owens is that jerky character who hates Shane, and AJ Styles had a feud with Shane during Wrestlemania this past year. These elements made the match exciting, as Shane kept getting tossed around and yelled at. At one point Kevin Owens yelled at Shane for being shitty at his job by saying: “YOU FALL OF BUILDING, BUT YOU CAN’T COUNT TO THREE”. Very few people you can yell that at and have it make sense. A lot of false finishes here with Shane counting slowly due to being hurt or not seeing something because he was bumped out of the ring. Ultimately Styles hit the Phenomenal Forearm and a Styles Clash to pick up the pinfall victory over Kevin Owens and retain his championship.

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Jinder Mahal def. Shinsuke Nakamura for the WWE Championship (Championship Retained)

I won’t waste your time here like WWE wasted your time this past Sunday. Have you seen Randy Orton vs Jinder Mahal? You know where the Singh Brothers interfere allowing Jinder to win? Yeah that happened again.

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Brock Lesnar def. Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman, and Samoa Joe for the Universal Championship in a Fatal Four Way Match (Championship Retained)

This match had so much hype to it and you could feel it in the Barclays Center. Roman Reigns came out sporting the same color red gear as Rollins and Ambrose did earlier, but before you get too excited nothing like you’re thinking happened tonight. I wouldn’t write it off quite yet though. This match made Braun Strowman a star if he wasn’t already. The first part of the match is Brock Lesnar getting destroyed. First with a spear by Roman through the barricade and then two powerslams through the announce tables courtesy of Braun Strowman. Strowman wasn’t done there, he flipped the third announce table onto Lesnar and crushed him. EMTs and medical staff came out and carted Lesnar away. The rest of the match saw a great display between Samoa Joe, Roman Reigns, and Braun Strowman. Braun eventually cleared Joe and Reigns from the ring which was Lesnar’s queue to break away from medical staff and make his way back to the ring. The four get back into it and eventually Lesnar picks up Reigns, hits him with a devastating F5, and gets the pinfall victory.

A couple awesome things from this match. These four had some great chemistry and were holding back no punches. Even more impressively, WWE used the Brock going to UFC rumors to make this match even more exciting. Going as far as to make the stipulation that if Lesnar lost he was leaving the company. One of the best main events in a long time and arguably the best match on the card, like a main event should be.

With the excitment of Summerslam weekend over, what is there to look forward to next? Have you ever wanted to see Alexa Bliss audition for a role in a horror film? Well do I have the perfect Pay-Per-View ad for you: