The All-NBA Fight Team

The NBA’s zero-tolerance policy when it comes to fighting has created the perception that basketball players are soft.  Would you be wrong to say such a thing? For sure not.  It’s no secret that the majority of today’s players are all bark and no bite.  However, take the time to comb through a few rosters and you are bound to find some guys that may be better suited for the octagon than they are the hardwood.  Below I’ve assembled the definitive All-NBA Fight Team that will always be ready to throw hands at the drop of a hat.

 

PG – Marcus Smart

If adversity breeds strength, then Marcus Smart might be the strongest of them all.  After losing a brother to cancer, Smart, at the age of 10, had to endure the struggles of watching his other brother get wrapped up in a world of gangs, drugs, and gun violence.  While normal kids spent their days playing video games, Smart was throwing rocks at people’s heads. He was slamming skulls into concrete and taking anger management classes all while still a teen.  Although he’s matured since his days of violence, Marcus Smart is still ready to fight you, your neighbor, and your neighbor’s neighbor… Oh, and this racist Texas Tech fan.

 

SG – Tony Allen

Every fight could use a little Grit-n-Grind.  Enter: The Grindfather.  When he’s not busy giving opponents the blues on the perimeter, TA is probably making it well known that you don’t want to owe him any money.  On a team plane in 2011, Allen delivered punches to teammate OJ Mayo in the eye, mouth, and head because Mayo owed him $7,500 after a card game.  Tony has the “debt-collector” archetype down pat.

 

SF – Jimmy Butler

At the age of 13, Jimmy Butler was homeless.  His father left when he was just an infant and his mother kicked him out of the house because she “didn’t like the way he looked.”  Jimmy G has gone on to become one of the best players in the NBA with a style tailored around toughness.  Every fight needs a guy with a chip on their shoulder and the chip on Butler’s shoulder isn’t going anywhere.

 

PF – James Johnson

The man known as Bloodsport.  A second-degree black belt. A 7-0 record in MMA matches. A 20-0 record in kickboxing matches.  A man capable of delivering a spinning heel kick to a 10-foot rim.  James Johnson isn’t just a member of this team, he’s the captain of it.  If you’ve ever been in a fight, you know that technique can matter much more than physique. Bloodsport has the technique AND the physique, I’m just not sure if any opponent would live to tell about it.

 

C – Steven Adams

Sometimes winning a fight also means getting roughed up a little.  Nobody in the NBA has more experience in getting beat up than Steven Adams.  The former rugby player and New Zealand product is the youngest of 18 (EIGHTEEN!) siblings.  The average female in his family is 6 feet tall, while the average male is 6’9. His sister Valerie at 6’4, 260, is a two-time Olympic gold medalist as a shot putter.  We’ve all seen the low blows that Steven Adams has taken from Draymond, but taking shots is nothing new for this 7 foot giant.

 

Reserves:

David West

James Johnson was asked if there are any NBA players that might be able to give him a fair fight. His response? “Maybe David West”.  We’ll take his word for it.

Image result for the indiana pacers david west fronts up

 

Giannis Antetokounmpo

Giannis is a troop.  Enough said.

 

Markieff Morris and Marcus Morris

The Morris twins must just have the “fighting” gene woven somewhere deep into their identical DNA.  While both of the brothers are currently on trial for an aggravated assault, they also have spotted pasts dating back to their college days where they took on the Kansas football team on numerous occasions.

 

Russell Westbrook

Russell Westbrook is just crazy.  Do you want to go up against this man if there’s a fight?  Didn’t think so.

 

Joel Embiid

Joel Embiid has famously told the story of how he killed a lion in his home country of Cameroon to prove that he was a man.  Sure, he may be making it up to prove a point about the misconceptions of Africa, but I’m not about to doubt him.

 

Zach Randolph

Z-Bo has the big body and left hook that you need in every fight.  While a member of the infamous “Jail Blazers”, Randolph sucker punched a teammate during practice.  If we can just channel his anger and get him to focus on the enemy, Z-Bo is going to be an invaluable member to this team.

 

Semi Ojeleye

To put it simply… Semi has combat muscles. CALL THE FIGHT!