Crash Course Wrestling Column Week Of 7/17/2017

It’s Monday Night and could possibly be the last of Kurt Angle as we know it. Not even a BROKEN FREAKIN’ NECK can get him out of a huge reveal tonight. Also, Roman Reigns and Samoa Joe square off to find out who will face Brock Lesnar at Summerslam for the WWE Universal Championship. How did it all go down? Let’s get to it.

Monday Night Raw = Watchable

Monday Night Raw opens with Dean Ambrose coming to the ring with a steel chair. He is joined shortly after by Seth Rollins who wants Ambrose to go to war with him against the Miztourage. Ambrose tells Rollins he still has PTSD from the SHIELD break up and Rollins tells him to hit him in the back with a chair as payback, but Ambrose refuses. The Miztourage come out and get chairs of their own, beat on Ambrose and Rollins, and stand tall. Kurt Angle announced later in the show that next week there will be a 3 on 2 Handicap Match as Rollins & Ambrose will take on The Miztourage.

Bayley picked up a win over Alexa Bliss with the help of Sasha Banks leading to another major match for next week, Sasha Banks vs. Bayley for the #1 contendership for the Raw Women’s Championship. Finn Balor faced The Drifter for the 3rd week in a row, but this one had a twist. Sampson got himself disqualified after whacking Balor over the head with his guitar. This hit was so vicious that Balor got his head gashed open and began to bleed. After the hit, Bray came on the titantron and spoke in riddles about pain and mortality. Looks like Bray is transitioning into his next lukewarm feud. Also announced for next week, Finn Balor vs. Elias Sampson in a No Disqualification Match.

There was more story development between Enzo and Cass this week. Enzo came out at the 9 o’clock spot and cut a promo reminding everyone that no matter how many times he gets rag dolled, he always gets back up. Enzo orchestrated Cass vs. Big Show and Enzo sat front row for it. Match never started and Cass laid out both Big Show and Enzo in the end. WWE continues to build up Cass as a legitimate monster.
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The 10 o’clock spot was the big reveal. Kurt Angle comes clean about something that has dwelling on everyone for a full 7 days. Speculation ran rampant, could it be Dixie Carter, Stephanie McMahon, an Illegitimate Child, Hornwoggle!? Well one of those is correct and it swerved most fans. Kurt Angle comes out and reveals that he just found out he has a kid from his college years. He announces that he is the father of Jason Jordan. Jordan comes out and they hug and cry. They advertise that more will be revealed immediately following Raw on the WWE Network. I found this slightly underwhelming, but from a company that gave us Hornswoggle as two major payoffs to storylines, I will take whatever I can get.

As mentioned earlier the main event saw Samoa Joe take on Roman Reigns with the winner going to Summerslam to face Brock Lesnar for the WWE Universal Championship. This was a hard hitting match between the two, but before one of them could claim a victory we get BRAUNNNNNNNN. The post match was electric with a red hot crowd. Strowman killed both Reigns and Joe as Raw went off the air. Although it wasn’t announced, it looks like we are getting a Fatal 4 Way at Summerslam as rumored here last week on BeerSpit and I welcome it with open arms.

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Who will walk out next week as the #1 Contender for Alexa Bliss’ Championship? Will other women reach out to Kurt Angle and increase his family tree? Will more innocent guitars be broken for the sake of two men angry at each other!? All this and more next week right here on BeerSpit: Fresh Content, Great Culture, Served Daily.
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Smackdown Live = Skippable

Over the past couple weeks we have seen the blue brand fall down a couple pegs allowing the red brand to become the must watch show of the week. It seems that after the past couple weeks the main event scene has been treading water on Smackdown Live. Tonight was the go-home show to the Battleground Pay-Per-View this Sunday, how did the blue brand hype up the fans for the last Pay-Per-View before Summerslam? Let’s get to it.

We start with Jinder showing us that he brought the Punjabi Prison with him. I guess he had it in his garage or basement or something for a decade. Maybe a Craigslist purchase? Anyway, Jinder shows us that the Punjabi Prison now has 4 trap doors and correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t think those were there 10 years ago. Orton comes out and says he is going to win and the segment ends, meh.

The 9 o’clock spot saw John Cena address his Flag Match this Sunday at Battleground. Cena comes out and cuts one of his patriotic promos that we have seen over and over and over again. Rusev comes out after the promo and attack Cena. Rusev locks Cena in the accolade and refuses to let go despite the useless refs getting angry at him. Around this same time frame we saw Chad Gable address the fact that Jason Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son. This was an interesting segment as it provided some closure to an official split to American Alpha. Gable told Renee he isn’t sure what is next for him.

The main event for the evening was Shinske Nakamura & AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens & Baron Corbin. As I said earlier, the main event scene on Smackdown has gone rather stale. However, to be fair, the Raw main event scene was stale for many many months after the draft. This is a good match between the two teams as expected with Kevin Owens picking up a pinfall victory for his team over AJ Styles. Main event aside, if there is one thing you need to see this week it is the next edition of the Fashion Files. My words will not do justice to it, so get your clues and magnifying glass ready for this weeks installment:

 

205 Live = Watchable (if you have time)

This was one of the better 205 Live episodes since its inception. The show starts off with a 2 out of 3 falls match between Mustafa Ali and Drew Gulak. This match has it all, high flying, hard hitting action, and storytelling. It is a damn shame that the crowd had a lackluster Smackdown Live so they are pretty quiet for most of this match. Both men score a pinfall leading to the third fall. Mustafa Ali hits a crazy Tope Suicida to outside onto Drew Gulak, but that isn’t enough to win Ali the third fall. Finally Mustafa hits his signature 450 Splash for the pinfall victory. This feud went on for a tad too long, but this match was well worth the payoff.

The main event was Akira Tozawa vs. Ariya Davari and it stemmed for Raw on Monday night. These two had a match and Titus stopped the match due to Akira’s shoulder being injured. Akira requested this rematch tonight and Titus delivered. The story to this match is that Davari is trying to injure Tozawa’s shoulder more by doing things like stomping on it and throwing him into the ring post. Despite Davari’s efforts, Tozawa is still able to get a roll up victory, but at what cost to Akira’s well being?

NXT = Must Watch

For the first time in BeerSpit and The Crash Course Wrestling Column’s history a show has been tagged as “Must Watch”. I have been told in the past that I am too hard when it comes to the “Skippable” and “Watchable” tags on this column. That being said, when I say “Must Watch” I mean MUST WATCH. In this case and in future cases there will not be a review, but rather a link for you to watch the show. Click the NXT logo below to see this weeks “Must Watch” episode of NXT (Ad-blocker suggested).

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