Crash Course Wrestling Column Week Of 6/12/2017

Monday Night Raw = Watchable

For the second week in a row Raw gets the “watchable” tag and it has been quite some time since that has happened. I do have to say that when WWE is backed in a croner with bad ratings, they have tricks up their sleeves to get out of it. They could always just not get themselves backed into that corner, but I digress. This show opened real hot with a brawl between Samoa Joe and Brock Lesnar. If you were not excited for their match before, this segment should help:

Last week Miz beat the shit out of both a bear and a cardboard box wrapped in wrapping paper in hopes of getting one over of Dean Ambrose. Turns out Ambrose was the camera guy for the segment the whole time. Well this week, Miz chirps Slater and Rhyno backstage leading to a tag match with a mystery partner for Miz. Miz’s mystery partner ends up being a bear on a tricycle. I feel asleep during this Raw and woke up at this part. I honestly didn’t know if I was dreaming or tripping. Nope, pure reality. Anyway, Miz attacks the bear mid match thinking it is Ambrose, but it is some jobber. Miz gets back in the ring to talk to Maryse are ringside when another bear enters the ring and hits Dirty Deeds on Slater. Miz turns around and gets a Dirty Deeds himself. Come to find out the second bear was Ambrose and Dean lays Miz over Slater for the pinfall victory. HOLD ON. HOW WAS THIS NOT A DQ?? Was it because a bear does not count as interference? Maybe because bears interfere at campsites nationwide so it doesn’t count if they interfere in the ring? This is wrestling so I will try not to lose sleep over it. Rereading this makes me realize that it sounds like I’m making this all up, but to prove I am not, here you go:

Big Cass was taken out backstage again before his match. However, he toughed it out and him and Enzo took on Gallows and Anderson. After a Magic Killer, Gallows and Anderson picked up the pinfall victory. Gallows and Anderson began attacking Enzo while Cass was outside on the floor. Big Show came out for the save and as Cass came to, he displayed a face of jealousy. Later on backstage Big Show told Enzo that his partner was S-A-W-F-T.

The main event was The Hardyz vs. Cesaro & Sheamus (c) in a 2 out of 3 falls match for the Raw Tag Team Championships. I love non traditional main events like this and I was excited for this one because I though there had to be big reason why this was saved for the main event. It was a good match with both teams scoring a fall. The final fall was a double count out resulting in Cesaro & Sheamus retaining the Raw Tag Team Championships. It was slightly disappointing live, but I will be patient and see where it goes from here.

What will come of the Beast’s brawl on Raw? Will Miz fight fire with fire and purchase his own bear suit? How will Cass’ jealousy of Big Show blow up in the face of Enzo? What will come of the double count out from this weeks main event? Find out next week right here on BeerSpit: Fresh Content. Great Culture. Served Daily.

Smackdown Live = Skippable

This weeks Smackdown was your cookie cutter go-home show to a Money in the Bank Pay-Per-View. That is not necessarily a bad thing as it did its job to add hype leading to the show Sunday, but it makes it feel a little house showey. The 9 o’clock spot saw Jinder Mahal and Randy Orton come face to face for the first time since their match at Backlash. Well it was kind of face to face I guess? Orton’s music hit and the Sing Brothers went to the end of the ramp ready to meet Orton, but sneaky snake Orton came from the crowd and hit an RKO on Jindy. So I guess they never really went face to face, more face to mat for Jindy. Orton stands tall meaning he is losing in his hometown on Sunday.

Another fantastic Fashion Files segment was displayed on Smackdown Live tonight. Unfortunately it was a little shorter than their previous segmetns, but it still delivered some funny lines and some Easter eggs for wrestling nerds in the background:

The main event was your classic “show before Money in the Bank” match. It was a 6 man tag team match between all the competitors in the Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match. Nakamura, Zayn, and Styles vs. Owens, Corbin, and Ziggler was a quality match and resulted with Sami Zayn scoring the pinfall on Baron Corbin. After the match, a ladder was brought out and people were hit with it. Corbin tried climbing the ladder only to be pulled down by Nakamura. Shinske climbed the ladder and retrieved the briefcase. For those of you who are new to the product, I hate to tell you, but usually whoever successfully climbs the ladder on the go-home show, does not win it at the Pay-Per-View. Will this be the year that the curse is broken? Stay tuned right here to BeerSpit: Fresh Content. Great Culture. Served Daily.

 

205 Live = Skippable

NXT = Very Skippable

 

 

Money in the Bank 2017 Match Card Rundown

Image result for money in the bank 2017 banner

  • Naomi vs. Lana for the Smackdown Women’s Championship
    • This one should be interesting. Lana’s first match on Smackdown and it is not only at a Pay-Per-View, but it is for the Smackdown Women’s Championship. I am hoping she has some actual wrestling gear and isn’t wrestling in that blue dress from last Tuesday. Last time we saw a women wrestle on a Pay-Per-View in a blue dress was that horrendous MINUS 5 STARS match between Sharmell vs. Jenna match at Victory Road. If you know what I’m talking about, I’m sorry.
  • Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte vs. Carmella (w/ James Ellesworth) vs. Tamina vs. Natalya in the First Ever Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match
    • This match is a must watch based solely on the historic value of it. I wish the fat was trimmed a tad and replaced with other women, but Smackdown Live worked with what they had. I can’t imagine Carmella in a ladder match is a must see spectacle. The only plausibe women I see winning her in Charolette. Her outfits mixed were her carrying that briefcase around is a perfect match.
  • The Usos vs. The New Day for the Smackdown Tag Team Championships
    • When the New Day was drafted or I guess shaken up over to Smackdown it was quite apparent that they were destined to win the Smackdown Tag Titles at some point. The Usos have kept them warm for awhile now, I think it might be time for a change.
  • Kevin Owens vs. Shinske Nakamura vs. AJ Styles vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin in a Money in the Bank Ladder Match
    • Now this is an all star line-up. I mean just look at the star power in this match. I hate to over hype a match in my head because it leads to a higher chance of disappointment, but I expect this match to be a gem. All these guys can work and it isn’t obvious who will walk out with the briefcase. If I had to make an educated prediction I would say Sami Zayn so they can play his underdog story to the max. Boring Baron Corbin could also walk out victorious, but please don’t do that to us.
  • Jinder Mahal (c) vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship
    • I understand the idea behind championship rematches on a Pay-Per-View, but that doesn’t mean I want to see it. I hope the Money in the Bank match main events and not this, but it probably won’t. Jindy will most likely retain here and continue his reign as the MODERN DAY MAHARAJA.