Craine’s Worst of the Week: Shitty Lays Flavors

Craine’s Comps: WORST OF THE WEEK

Craine here with an exciting compilation for your viewing pleasure, or in the case of this week’s comp: displeasure.

Back in 2013 Frito-Lay launched a contest called “Do Us a Flavor” which prompted fans from across the country to submit their ideas for Lay’s next best creation. The contest has graced us with flavors like Bacon Mac & Cheese, and Cheesy Garlic Bread. It was only a matter of time before this contest completely backfired and became a huge trollfest. Here are some of the best (worst) entries we’ve seen over the past few years.


Hot Ham Water – You couldn’t just stop at regular ham could you? Hard pass.

The bag is half full of Con-Air.

Diet Mountain Dew – Has anyone ever drank a Diet Mountain Dew and not immediately said “This tastes like regular Mountain Dew mixed with piss”?

Hope you’ve got your inhalers ready.

Disappointment – Perfect for AA meetings, shotgun weddings, and long car rides to the city dump.


Surrender To The Void – This one seems more like a flavor ultimatum than a flavor suggestion.

My brother once got glowstick fluid in his eye and couldn’t see out of it for two days. Just in case you’re wondering what this flavor will do to your butthole.


Patrick Swayze’s Roadhouse – Just to reiterate this is the 1989 classic, not the shitty 2006 reboot.


Grilled Condoms – Would you like that rare, medium rare, or Magnum?


Girl body juice – Can’t say I understand what this guy was going for, but I can’t say I’m not interested to find out.


Man Meat – I don’t think I really need to make a euphemism about dicks to explain this one to you guys. Man meat, take it or leave it.

David Bowie’s Bulge in Labyrinth – I don’t know if you guys have ever seen Labyrinth, but I have to give this guy credit for the worst flavor involving a dead guy’s junk. RIP Bowie.


None Pizza with Left Beef – This one deserves a shoutout, in case you’ve never seen None Pizza with Left Beef:


This one would have been further down on the list, but thank God someone had to common sense to hickory smoke the horse buttholes beforehand.





Shredded Homeless Man – Everyone wants to solve the homeless problem but nobody is willing to grind the homeless up into potato chip flavoring.

People in the 90s went nuts over Air Bud, but here we are in 2017 and nobody would eat “a dog that is also a cop” Kettle Cooked Lays potato chips?

Human Rights Violations – Oh man, the boys down at the UN are gonna go nuts over this one.

Your Parents Having Sex – Or as my parents would call this flavor “Just Wrestling”

Kind of like kicking and screaming, but way more sexual. Also, probably something you should see a doctor about.