Clancy’s Rant of the Week: Project Graduation

You selfish sons of bitches. You all think you deserve everything on a silver platter. The four “rough” years of high school really get to you? Your class president plan a shitty prom? Well then, you’re pathetic and we don’t need you in the real world if you need to keep doing things for yourself. Yeah, I’m bitching about Project Graduation and it’s about time someone has.

Project Grad for those who don’t know is an adult run night of activities right after graduation to prevent student run parties that have alcohol. Some schools raise tens of thousands of dollars to put on these events. It pains me to say this initiative started in my home state of Maine, but the state had given incentives for ideas like this and Paris/Norway jumped on it.

First, parents are usually a disappointment when it comes to planning events for their teen children. Bowling is cool, sports complex is cool, even a high school gym can be cool but not for 12 or more hours. Throw in a hypnotist and you really fucked up the night. Not everyone gets a chance that wants to and everyone knows that if your mom is chaperoning that creepy hypnotist guy is picking you for sure.

Second, my main problem with Project Grad is the money. Parents are teaching their kids that it’s ok to raise tens of thousands of dollars for themselves to spend on themselves on fun, pizza, and soda. In the name of what? In the name of prevention for one night. Let me tell you something folks, and sorry mom, but we still got to drink and smoke. Maybe not the night of graduation, but certainly whenever we wanted to the rest of the summer.

Now the process of raising this money I believe to be a valuable one, and doing something together with your class before all going off in different directions is also crucial. But, the money raised should go to improving the school, or doing a community service project together. Then after that is done maybe catch a baseball game or do an activity for a few hours that’s cheap. We want to be raising a group of civically engaged youth, not some selfish twerp which we are doing now.

Parents should be installing good values in their kids prior to graduation so that they don’t even need to lock them in a room for a night. Kids are going to drink and smoke and do whatever else they want, it’s the parents job to let them know to be safe and if they need help that they can always count on them. Project Graduation is just lazy parenting.

As the school year comes to an end and recent high school graduates start their summer there isn’t much we can do to change things this year. But, for next year though I want parents and high school seniors to really think about how they can learn to fundraise and then do something good for their community, country, and world.

BeerSpit would love to be apart of making your service project successful, so please feel free to contact us to help plan a fundraising event or service project event. We’ll get your parents drunk afterwards and also give you an awesome clean after party. So stop being little bitches and start doing something good.